It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
