The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
