with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
