i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
