Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
