dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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