I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
