you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Everclear isn't food dammit
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
