Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Acid is not a monday night drug
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Randomize
