Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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