New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So squirting runs in the family.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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