IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
