he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
