hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Congratulations! We have a period
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