Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
