so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
