Nicole vs. Life
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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