Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
