I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
