a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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