Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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