we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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