I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
