i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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