There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls