She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!