She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
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The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
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I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I fill condoms, not promises.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock