I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.