I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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