Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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