is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
