It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
