Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
