i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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