we're blogging at a bar
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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