she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She swung at the pinata with crutches
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
