Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
