so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
