i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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