Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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