i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
