Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
