I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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