I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
