so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
