I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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