No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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