Dude my mom stole all your condoms
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
