dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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