So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
