You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
