Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
