I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I want to fling myself into the sun
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
