I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
