So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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