his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
only you would photoshop your dick
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
