Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
