I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize