what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
