Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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